when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
