She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
