My first STD was from a foam party
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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