it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I lost the right to judge tonight
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
