Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
