i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
