Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
