i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
