Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
