Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
