on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
