You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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