It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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