What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
