Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
