Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
