She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
