I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
