are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
