Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
