I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
