How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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