i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
