did you get engaged???
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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