No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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