By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
