I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
