I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
