hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
