She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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