So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
