260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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