Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
