i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
