I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
