My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
