Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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