I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
