benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
