I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
