I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
