Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
