I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
