peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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