i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
