she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
