I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
