dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
