So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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