Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
